The last few months have been a little strange.
A lot has happened. I’ve spent a lot of time on my new bike, biked through Italy with Florian, spent some time in Heidelberg, a weekend away with friends, travelled to Prague, and generally found myself doing more than I expected.
But internally, it hasn’t always felt quite as easy.
There have been periods where my head wasn’t in the best place. I’ve questioned myself, revisited old decisions, and spent too much time trying to make sense of things that probably didn’t need to be solved.
I’ve always had a tendency to overthink. Give me something uncertain and I’ll try to understand it, explain it, and eventually find a conclusion.
I’m slowly learning that not everything needs one.
I’ve been thinking more about where I put my energy.
Not because I want to care less, but because I want to care more deliberately. To invest in the people I genuinely value, make time for the friendships that matter, and be more open to the people and experiences that come my way.
I feel myself becoming more open to that again.
I’m finding myself more willing to follow a little bit of curiosity. A conversation that stays with me. A person I find myself looking forward to seeing. A place I’ve never been. A goal that sounds exciting even if I don’t know exactly where it will take me.
Some conversations end when they end. Others leave you a little more curious than expected, some in particular. Maybe something happens, maybe nothing happens. We’ll see.
I’m finding that I’m more curious about finding out than figuring it out.
Cycling has probably helped with that.
Not because it solved anything, but because it gave me plenty of opportunities to simply go somewhere without needing a reason beyond wanting to see what was there.
A long ride. A new road in Italy. An afternoon in Heidelberg. Small things, but they reminded me how much there is to explore when I’m not spending all my time looking inward.
And lately, I’ve started looking forward again.
To riding further. To setting new goals and working towards them. To planning trips. To meeting people. To trying things simply because they seem interesting.
My mental health hasn’t always been great over the last few months, but I’m doing okay. And I’m increasingly aware of how fortunate I am to be able to say that.
I have people I care about. Work I enjoy. The freedom to travel, explore, and decide what I want to do next.
I don’t think a renewed outlook means suddenly knowing what you want.
Maybe it just means being willing to find out.
To put your energy into the things that matter, stay open to the things you haven’t planned for, and let some things become meaningful along the way.
For the first time in a while, I’m not so worried about having the answer.
I’m more interested in seeing what happens next.